How to stop managing conversations and start creating change

Empathy gets thrown around a lot in leadership circles. But when you strip away the buzzwords, what does empathetic listening actually look like?

In my experience, it boils down to three practices:

• Presence

• Curiosity

• Compassion

Most People Hear—But They Don’t Really Listen

You’ve probably had this experience:

You share something personal, maybe even vulnerable, and the other person immediately starts interpreting it through their own lens.
They jump to advice. Or worse, they try to fix you.

That’s not empathy. That’s defensiveness dressed up as support.

What Empathetic Listening Sounds Like

Let’s say an employee tells you:

“I don’t think I’m capable of succeeding at this.”

Most managers respond with a solution or a checklist. But what if instead, you said:

• “Why do you feel that way?”

• “That’s something I’ve struggled with too.”

Empathy isn’t about rescuing people. It’s about making space for honesty. When someone feels safe, real transformation becomes possible.

Final Thought

Empathetic listening isn’t soft. It’s powerful.
It’s the difference between managing problems and unlocking people.