Why transactional listening fails, and what to do instead

We've all said it: “Got it. I hear you.”

But what does that actually mean?

Too often, those phrases are just a way to move the conversation along. They sound like active listening—but they don’t feel like it.

The Problem With Transactional Listening

Transactional listening checks off boxes:

• Hear facts

• Capture action items

• Move forward

But it rarely creates connection. And it usually misses what matters most.

Here’s what transformational listening looks like instead:

When an employee says, “I don’t think I’m in the right role anymore,”

The transactional manager books a performance review.
The transformational leader says, “Help me understand what’s behind that.”

Leadership Requires More Than Politeness

Real listening requires real presence. It asks you to go beneath the surface and care about what the other person is actuallysaying—not just what you want to hear.

The best leaders don’t just hear you. They see you.